


a couple of asshole breath players

by dryadfiona



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Black-Red Vacillation, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Quadrant Confusion, mentioned red rosejadekan and pale johnkat, the violence isn't that bad it's just some intestines where they shouldn't be nbd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 21:06:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6582445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dryadfiona/pseuds/dryadfiona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Tavros don't really know what they are to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a couple of asshole breath players

**Author's Note:**

> whoever submitted this to ao3tags: i love you

"What the  _fuck,_ " John says the first time Tavros asks what they are to each other.

"That's not really an answer," Tavros replies.

"I mean, how am I supposed to know? You're a troll, why don't you get what quadrant we're in?"

"It's not like this is  _easy,_ Egbert--" Tavros's ears flick down, and John's not sure if he's annoyed because he knows what they are and just wanted to see if John did, or if he's frustrated because he doesn't know either and really, this is just a confusing clusterfuck for everyone involved.

There's a pause. "I don't like you," Tavros starts.

Part of John feels proud at that, and another part feels a stab of resentment, and another part of him he thought died awhile ago is saying _how come he doesn't like me if we've made out, like, 14 times?_ "So does that mean we're hate-dating?"

Tavros groans, head in his hands, and John would say it was cute if they didn't hate each other, apparently.

\--

Tavros actually growls at John when he tries to help him with his wounds.

"I get we hate each other, but isn't this supposed to be based off respect? I can't exactly hate you if you're dead." John hears his voice crack and knows Tavros hears it too, but the troll doesn't call him out on it and John is grateful.

"It's just--it's almost pale, John," Tavros mutters, and John thinks  _no, no, I could see us being flushed but pale, no, I'm happy with Karkat in that department,_ and then he realizes he could see them being flushed and it's that much more complicated.

\--

The battles they're fighting are no longer few and far between, but everywhere, constant, and people are dying left and right. John is lucky Jade is his sister, not only because Jade is a wonderful mostly-human being that anyone would be lucky to be related to, but also because she's one of the strongest out of any of them and he knows that he'd be dead--really dead--without her protecting him.

Not everyone can say the same, of course. They've lost friends. Jade still gets mad at him every time he mentions Rose's almost-loss at her last fight. He remembers seeing them and Kanaya all cuddling and crying, and Karkat said, "Jesus fuck, that's almost pale porn", but then Jade snarled at him and he backed down. (He gets Karkat used to have a bit of a crush on his sister, but she was happy with her girlfriends. And they definitely weren't pale, if the memories John walked into and wished he could erase had anything to say about it.)

The third time today she saves him, he says, "Thanks, sis. I'd never have made it this far without you."

"I know," she says, smiling despite the line of stress on her forehead. "I'm just that great."

\--

The first time Jade fails to save someone when they're there, it's Dirk. The monsters they were fighting were just  _that much_ more vicious and they were caught off guard, and Jade didn't care about Dirk as much, so she didn't keep as much of an eye on him, and when she looked away--

John has seen a lot of fucked up shit during the game, but this was on a whole other level.

There are guts  _everywhere._ Some of these are from the monsters--why did they stop dying neatly like they did in the game? What happened to that?--but far too many are from Dirk. Those are definitely his intestines hanging from that tree, and fuck, he's gonna be sick.

Tavros holds his hood back when he's throwing up after they win, and Jade has a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I just--he didn't deserve that," John says, desperately.

He feels more than sees Tavros shrug, and hears him say, "He was kind of an asshole."

"What do you mean?" John says, because this is the first he's hearing of it, and Tavros shrinks back a bit. Jade nods at him encouragingly and teleports away.

"You know how he and Jake used to be matespirits?"

"Yeah?"

"It was--it wasn't good. It wasn't healthy."

"And how would you know?" John asks, turning back at him.

Tavros' eyes flicker over to Vriska for a second before looking back at him. "It's pretty easy to spot. Jake and I have talked about--about stuff like this before--"

John doesn't like Tavros, but for just a minute his hate melts away and he just feels pity. He reaches out and grabs Tavros' hand. That elicits a shaky laugh. At John's questioning look, Tavros says, "Well, if we weren't complicated before--"

\--

"Karkat," John starts, and he's desperate. "I need help."

Karkat throws his hands in the air and starts muttering about humans and their terrible romantic skills and how quadrants are  _simple_ if the parties involved aren't such fucking  _idiots_ until John cuts him off by putting a hand on his cheek.

"Karkat," John says.

Karkat sighs. "I don't know, to be honest. Just--does it have to fit neatly into a category? There aren't that many of us left, it doesn't really matter."

John could take the ominous meaning in his words seriously, realize Karkat was basically saying there was no way they could make it through this, but he's tired.

\--

They don't know what they are to each other. It's fine. Some days they wake up and it's all gentle kisses, hand-holding, playing video games and making breakfast together, and some days they wake up and it's teasing, arguing, even outright fighting if both of them are up for it.

In the moments they can slip away and be alone, it's a weird mixture of both. There are marks on John's neck that are probably deeper than they really needed to be, especially considering his sister is dating Kanaya, not him. John knows there are scratches on Tavros' back that he put there, and honestly, he's proud.

That's all calignous, probably, but he remembers it as a sense of closeness, not just respect or even trust but real care and affection.

He doesn't know. Frankly, at this point, he doesn't even care. He just wants to get through it, with Tavros at his side.

Though that might change if he doesn't stop fucking  _blasting_ the Pokemon theme at  _three AM,_ honestly, what the  _fuck--_


End file.
